WWW.SCOOTER=TRASH.COM
YOU COULD BE SCOOTER-TRASH IF

YOU KNOW APE HANGERS ARE NOT ALL AT THE ZOO.
YOU'VE EVER SIPHONED GAS FROM YOUR LAWNMOWER TO PUT IN
             YOUR MOTORCYCLE.
YOUR KIDS CALL YOUR SISTER MOM.
YOU THINK ICING IS WHAT YOU DO TO THE FRONT PORCH BEFORE
              YOUR MOTHER IN LAW COMES OVER.
YOU BUY YOUR JEWLERY AT THE HARDWARE STORE.
YOUR CHRISTMAS STOCKING IS FULL OF AMMO.
YOU CAN YELL TO YOUR MOM, "HEY, AUNT BETTY."
YOU LIKE SPAM.
YOU WONDER WHY THERE ISN'T A HAIR STYLE CALLED "THE HAT                           LINE"
YOU KNOW A VAGO IS NOT A NEW MODEL OF MOTORCYCLE.
YOUR KIDS FIGHT WITH THE DOGS FOR DINNER.
YOU CUSS AND REFER TO YOUR MOTHER, SISTER AND WIFE WITH                    THE SAME WORD.
YOUR SWIMMING POOL IS THE DRAINAGE DITCH BEHIND YOUR HOUSE.
YOU MISTAKE THE OFFERING PLATE FOR A SPIT CAN.
YOU GO TO A FAMILY PARTY TO PICK UP WOMEN.
YOU THINK THE FRANKLIN MINT IS A BREATH FRESHENER.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY AVON MAKEUP DON'T SMELL LIKE
                    OLD TIRES.
YOUR ONLY TIE IS MADE OF LEATHER, SILVER AND TURQUOISE.
YOU THINK DOCTORIN' INVOLVES MAMMA'S SEWING KIT AND A JUG.
YOU BREAK WIND IN PUBLIC AND BLAME IT ON YOUR KID.
YOU KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF "RED AND WHITE"
WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF GAS YOU PUT GIN IT THE GAS TANK.
YOU'VE EVER GOT A LETTER OF RECOGNITION FROM A BEER                                        COMPANY.
YOU'VE TAKEN READING LESSONS IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM.
YOU'VE EVER PAYED FOR A SIX PACK WITH PENNIES.
YOU ASK THE PREACHER, "HOWS IT HANGING?"
YOU THINK THE STOCK MARKET HAS A FENCE AROUND IT.
YOUR COFFEE TABLE USED TO BE A TELEPHONE CABLE SPOOL.
YOU EVER USED LARD IN BED.
YOU'VE EVER FINANCED A TATOO.
YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON A CASE OF OIL AS THE DAY MY
                  SHIP CAME IN.
THE NEIGHBORS STARTED A PETITION OVER LOUD PIPES.
YOUR FAMILY HAS SAT AROUND WAITING FOR A CALL FROM THE                                         GOVERNOR TO SPARE A LOVED ONE.
YOU CAN'T TELL THE COLOR OF YOUR BIKE BECAUSE OF THE DIRT.
YOU HAVE BUGS IN YOUR BEARD.
THE DIPLOMA HANGING IN THE LIVING ROOM HAS THE LETTERS "MMI"                      ON IT.
YOU'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN A CUSTODY FIGHT OVER A MOTORCYCLE.
YOUR WIFE HAS EVER SAID " COME MOVE THIS TRANSMISSION SO I CAN
                            TAKE A BATH."
YOU'VE EVER LOCKED YOUR GUN TO THE FRONT OF YOUR                                                   MOTORCLCLE.
YOUR BABY'S FIRST WORDS ARE,    "ATTENTION K-MART SHOPPERS."
YOUR PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME IS THE PAWN SHOP.
YOU HAVE EVER BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE "WHAT A BURGER"
YOU HAVE BEEN TO A WEDDING RECEPTION AT A  BAR.
YOU THINK A THREE PIECE SUIT IS A LEATHER JACKET, JEANS AND A
                           HARLEY TEE SHIRT.
OTHER BIKERS BACK DOWN FROM YOUR MAMA.
YOU WERE SHOOTING POOL WHEN YOUR KIDS WERE BORN.
YOU HAVE MORE THAN TWO FRIENDS NAMED BUDDY, BUBBA OR                                         THANG.
YOU THINK A VOLVO IS PART OF A WOMANS ANATOMY.
YOU'VE EVER BEEN ARRESTED FOR LOITERING.
MOMMA TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FLIP A CIGARETTE.
THERE HAS EVER BEEN CRIME SCENE TAPE AROUND YOUR                                                    MOTORCYCLE.
YOU OWN TWO GOOD CARS AND STILL RIDE YOUR HARLEY TO WORK.
YOUR GOOD DEED FOR THE MONTH WAS HIDING YOUR BROTHER FOR                              A FEW DAYS.
YOUR FAVORITE TEE SHIRT IS OFFENSIVE IN ALL BUT THIRTEEN                                        STATES.
YOU'VE ROLLED YOUR RIDING MOWER.
YOUR NEIGHBOR HAS BORROWED A QUART OF BEER.
YOU REMEMBER WHEN SEX WAS SAFE AND MOTORCYCLES WEREN'T.
YOUR DOG GOES OINK.
YOUR FAMILY TALKS LIKE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS.
YOU HAVE MASON JARS FULL OF STUFF THE FBI CAN'T IDENTIFY.
YOU THINK ESPRESSO MEANS 8 ITEMS OR LESS.
YOU THINK RECYCLING MEANS RIDING HOME FROM WORK.
A NIGHT ON THE TOWN INCLUDES JAIL.
THERES A PUDDLE OF HARLEY OIL IN YOUR DRIVEWAY YEAR ROUND.